Blood Orange: Dinner [Terrible]
I’m bored (a rare occasion for me). I’m so used to moving around all the time, that when I’m sitting still I don’t know what to do with myself. I need to restring my guitar, but I only have my cheap ass strings left (which gives me a sneaking suspicion that I’ll have to restring it again sometime soon) and I’d rather use better ones. So, for now I’m just on Spotify trying to find new music to get into, anything to make me feel a little less restless. There’s so much on my mind too. Everything in life right now is teetering on this fine line. I’m trying to balance my personal life with my professional life and at the same time work a side job to ensure I have food to eat and gas in my car. At this point though, is appears that I’m not going to be able to continue on in that same fashion. My music requires more time from me now, it just doesn’t pay enough yet. I’m quickly learning that time is my most precious commodity. I’d love to have more time to spend with my family and friends. I’m continously sacrificing something. People don’t get it. Sacrifice to create. I haven’t even really been able to create like I want to either. How I’d love to be able to sit in a studio alone and bang out these songs that have been running across my mind for months now. I need that. I need that release. I bet making some music would make me feel better. Other than those minor grievances, life is pretty damn good. Everything is moving in the right direction, I’m just having trouble dealing with this purgatory. I’m here for a reason though, and I suppose there’s no time like the present to appreciate where you are in life. Sidenote: I haven’t been able to remember a dream in a VERY long time, but I think I met a person from one of the last dreams I can remember this year. Funny thing is I had the dream in 2011. As a person who pays close attention to the way thing feel, that was one of those dreams that really stuck with me. I don’t know what any of it means, but as an artist, I’m constantly trying to analyze myself to know myself better and this dream and that person are of some sort of significant importance to me. Wonder what it all means….
…there never seems to be enough of it.